It’s not the idea of a self-cleaning toilet. That seems like pure awesomeness.

It’s the sign, folks. It’s the words.

Someone got paid to come up with that “slogan” and convinced his or her boss that it was a good idea. The boss took it to the bean counters who approved it being printed on big cardboard signs (maybe they’re plastic, I dunno) in all of the approximately 1,800 Lowe’s stores all over the country (not to mention a few more in Canada and Mexico). And, yes, it’s pasted on their website, too. And in Spanish, too, no less.

Nobody said anything. Not a thing. Not one word.

“New Innovation.” That is some awesome awesomeness.