Oh. My. God.

This tree picture from a week or so ago? Beautiful and all that. But I knew what was coming.

Today, the pollen count in Atlanta broke the 6,000 barrier. I’m not exactly positive what that means, but … well, I do know what it means. It’s the number of particles of pollen — from trees, from weeds, from grass — per cubic meter of air. And 6,152 is a season high. Also beat last year’s high, too.

I was going to go back in the archives a little more, but now my eyes are absolutely killing me. Swollen. Red. Watery. Itchy. Godddddd, this time of year is a bitch.

I’d like to blame Atlanta — I’m up for blaming anyone — but, fact is, I remember the same thing happening while I was in spring training in Tucson one day. Had to interview guys indoors with my sunglasses on because I didn’t want to gross anybody out. Couldn’t read my notes later. Had to make everything up.

Anyway, as you can see, we’re now in a red zone of pollen crapola. Time to stay inside with the AC cranked and wear mittens so I don’t dig out my orbs. It feels that bad.

If there’s any good to come out of this, it’s that we are out of this by the end of the month. Historically speaking. That’s key, because the yearly Bro Golf outing is scheduled to begin exactly three weeks from Friday. I need my eyes about me.